I've been lying in bed thinking about grief. It's an odd thing, extremely painful and yet you can't touch it or even point it out. There's no miracle pill to get rid of the pain, no limb to chop off, there's nothing inside of you they can cut out. It's buried deep inside of you, somewhere around the heart-lungs-throat region. In my experience (17 years) it never goes away fully - it's like a chronic scab - it heals over partially, but if it gets bumped hard enough it flows again. An intangible wound. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's the best I can do at 1:20 am.
Yup. That pretty much sums it up.
In other news....
Dad and I had been going round and round about me and my vehicle. He wasn't happy with my Escort, even though I've had it for 8 years and 3 of those have been up north. He wanted something with more room for my long legs, something I didn't hit my head on, something big enough for me, something with 4 wheel-drive for the weather up there... He even threatened to sell my Escort (since it's in his name) before I got back and get me something of his choosing - eek! So I finally said we'd see when I got home... well anywho.. he won the arguement. But I must say, I won the pretty new car! /beam
It's a 2004 Honda Element... and it's ORANGE! hehehe
It's so purrrrrty.
If nothing else it has distracted me from other less desirable things.
Christmas wasn't as bad as I was thinking. Had Friday dinner with my Aunt and Uncle and on Saturday I had Christmas lunch with my Mom's family.
No tears. Just a little sadness in the air - on both sides.
It'll be 2005 in a couple of days. Strange to think. What happened to this year? So much has happened, yet I can't imagine it's over with.
Talk about life being a rollercoaster! This year has been so unpredictable - both good and bad.
Anywho, wishing you all a very Happy New Year.
For my Minnesotan friends - I'll be up there on or by the 8th of Jan. See ya then!
*Hugs*