I'm homesick, but not for “home,” because I AM home. Texas stopped being home at some point in the past year. Now, MN really feels like home to me. I have so many friends here. My school, my work, my life is here. (Granted, my family is spread from Alabama to Nevada...) Aya's family kind of adopted me, so I have a surrogate family here.
When I say I'm feeling homesick, it's because I don't have any other word for it.
I miss New Zealand. I miss the people, the NEW-ness, the EXCITEment, the learning, the sights, the adventures, the freedom. I miss who I got to be in New Zealand; relaxed, open, free.
I was just FREE.
My mom is right. Renee is right. G is right. I have changed.
I still fit in here, but I'm a different piece of the puzzle.
I feel like I'm repeating the same sentiment over and over again. Maybe I hope if I keep rewording it I will find the key or everything will just suddenly make sense.
What a feeling... I am happy here. I love being back with my friends. I am glad to be back in school and have my old routines back. There are new people as well, shaking things up a bit, keeping it interesting. I wasn't really ready to leave this part of my life, because I had finally found my niche, I finally felt like I belonged. At the same time, I was terribly excited to be going to NZ and looking forward to my big adventure. Now the adventure is over... maybe it's that I don't have some big exciting adventure, the giant carrot, dangling in front of me. hmmmmm... There's a thought.