Monday, January 03, 2005

List time

I have so much to do before I leave and another list of things to do when I get there.

I'm feeling a bit stressed. I'm also at the point I reach before every trip - where I'm ready for it to be over. I don't relish long drives (even with pretty new cars) or long plane rides. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Besides, once I am there have settled in it'll be all good :)

I feel really bad because I haven't found time to see my grandmother in East Texas. With everything that happened here and packing and whatnot I simply won't have time :( I promised her though... I must be a sucky grandchild. I have to call her today and tell her I won't make it out to see her. /sigh

Rainy weather the past couple of days has not helped my energy level. All I want to do is curl up in my bed with a kitty or two and pass out. Must say I did do it for a bit yesterday and it felt really good.

Added to my stress and guilt is a sense of loss (grandaddy) and to top it all off a sense of... home-sickness? for lack of a better term. I miss NZ. I miss the people, I miss the atmosphere, the landscapes, the adventures I had. It already feels like a fading dream. Certainly a dream come true for me. Now it is over I feel as if a hole has developed in my heart (another one). I gained all these memories, experiences, etc, but now they've passed and another chapter in my life is ended. It's sort of like grief but on a different level. Hard to explain. I've adjusted back to my home life and soon will have to adjust back to my school life. It makes the past 4 1/2 months seem like this dream vacation and I have to stop occasionaly and remind myself it really did happen.

Hmm...
It really did happen, and I have the pictures and journal to prove it!