I'm having a hard time today. Grief is a funny process and the nightmares really aren't helping. They're so real and the powerful emotions they evoke don't go away once I wake up. I still feel my heart beating fast, the pre-tearing, clenching feeling in my throat... Result: I start my day in a funky/depressed state. The one last night was pretty bad. I don't know how to stop them, but I need to figure something out before I go crazy or just start balling in a class. It's to the point where I don't function well during the day and I've broken down in tears twice today. UGH! It's so frustrating. Some days I'm fine, almost good as new. I think this is what frustrates me the most. I called my mom this morning and talked to her about it = first breakdown. She said I behaved similarly when my grandmother died. The funny thing is I remember breaking down as soon as my parents told me there had been an accident - before they told me she was hurt - my kiddy senses tingled and I knew it wouldn't end well. I remember crying and crying until I thought I'd never be able to stop. Then at the funeral I was all cried out. I honestly don't remember anything after that... for quite a while. I don't remember how I dealt with it afterwards.. which seems odd to me since I was 8 years old. Maybe I blocked it all out, I have a tendency to block unpleasant memories... don't we all?
This time I cried when mom told me and then I had to pull it together to make it back home. I cried a few tears off and on and then during the funeral I lost it. I had to run outside because I couldn't breath and I just let it all flow. I've cried off and on since then with intermitent days of okness = FRUSTRATION.
I don't know if I'm behaving acceptably according to the grieving process, but it's how I am dealing with it. Maybe if I'm still this way in a couple of months I should go see someone. At this point I think there's a healthy dose of home-sickness contributing to my state.

On a happier note, I found a Cool Link.

And for future/current teachers: For Kids.